Phew....... things happen today. unhappy things.All of it was my fault ler.......i know i'm wrong but there's one thing i knew n learned is that i had a very special one who still gave me a chance though it hurt him. I dunno what to say and dunno what could i do but all i could do is to slowly do things to gain back his trust. I dun wan to let small people like that to destroy what i had go thru just to be with this special one.....it just take so many hardship i'm only able to get him. it's my fault for giving ppl some not straight forward answer. Trust me for the last time.... i would not let u down. dun think u are not worth.  I dun care what in the world will happen in the future. i just dun wan my life to be mess up of such idiot. remember my words...

I learned something new in my life. I had finally found the light of my life for the time being. Will i be able to own it forever i dunno? Though he always calls me stupid but i do know deep inside his heart he cared for me. He may not show that he cared for me but i can feel it. He's those person who prove things by action and not talking. I'll learn this from him. Now on i'll take some action to show him i care for him too and not by talking only. At times i'll wonder when i tell him things did he have any feelings but now i knew he had. He do care about what i said. I understand that no one is perfect but too me he is because i learn to accept the imperfect side of him. When we go dancing we sure will have some argument but this shows that we care for the dance. I understand about it. In the surface it looks like he's always bullying me but in fact he's showing his care in another way. This would be the greatest gift god has given me after my mum. I felt so lucky. I'm not greedy i just wan this special one to be together with me with my and his toughest and happiest time of life till the end of time. Some say that the future is in our hands. I do believe it too because if i dun do my best to keep things working in our life there will be no future for us. Thank you... 

Here's a story:

There was a girl who had a bad experience in life with others.She was always abuse by someone.She felt that it must be the end of her life.She never thought of any future of her because she thought that she was stuck in this situation for the rest of life. When she was in her worst time at that period she felt a gush of warmness around her.The kind of warm that she never experience b4 and the feeling and thought, feelings she never had and thought she never had since the bad encounter.These warm had make her life change.And this remarkable warm has started the happiest journey of her life. The warmth was brought by a very caring guy. This particular guy had make her realise that there'll always to be a way for you no matter how you are.From this guy she learn the fact that she herself too can own a dream and have a future of her own. Her own dreams. During her period with this guy all along they may have some arguments but still they will get back not long after.In her mind she only know that this guy had gave her feelings that she once never had, knowledge that she has lost and dreams that she always wanted. If it was not this guy she would not be able to own so many things that she never thought she deserve to have all this life. He boost up her self-esteem and bring her to a world of truth,love, warmth and important of all loving memories she had with the guy. This particular guy do behave in a strange manner at times as he is hard to predict. His mind is hard to be read at times. Wondering whether what he says and wat's in his heart is different or same. He may say something that can really hurt u at times but when her really need him he can give her the warmth and support her really need at the moment. Deeps inside the girl understand the meaning of this guy's action. She also understand with the fact that the guy doesn't want to make any impossible promise to her. No matter what the girl herself still think that she was given a chance to choose she will choose not to have a painful experience but still be able to know the guy. Let's think back if she had not been through this bad experience will she ever know how to appreciate things around her. I think she still will. In the girl's mind she will say back the same old thing she had told the guy many times. Which is she never regretted knowing the guy and no matter what future lies for both of them she still will remember him and had the wonderful memories they once had. The girl is not stupid or naive. It's just that she wanted to appreciate the things she have now and not regret in the future for not doing so. She think it's worth knowing such a wonderful person. In her mind she felt that faith do existed and look around you have you ever think that you are born or made to have faith with that person you know. Imagining the world that consists or 60 billion ppl from all over the place and you both are place in the same place, time and venue at the very moment to get to know each other. Believe it. There are many things that is hard to be scientific proven. Future are for those who had wonderful dreams. At times we too have to live in dream not always reality. Dreams can make someone feel better about themselves.

Life is just so miserable at times. Some are just born in this world so luckily encounter good people in their life. But once u go on a wrong way it's hard for u to turn back. at times there's just one way you could only go on. When u continue this wrong road u had no chance to turn back and at dat time only death can solve this problem. In this so called beutiful world you'll meet all kinds of people. But it doesn't mean that those people you encounter will not harm you. There will also be people that will just protect you when you are in the darkest moment in my life. Though i may not be that person who are born to be luckily but in my life i'm so luckily to be given the chance to so called own a very good and supportive mum who had been supporting me during these times, a wonderful guy who was there right by my side when i needed him the most and friends that are there to suport, help me and protect me... After certain incidents i just realise how lucky i am. i may not be as rich or clever like people but i had something that not many people can't or had been wasting so much time searching for. But now i had it. just in front of my eyes and beside me.

I just dunno how to thanked or repay them back. rite now in my mind i've been thinking some very stupid things which i do not knoww hy i would think so but right now with this heart i felt it da only way to settle everything. I just hope that if things happen everyone will take it calmly with no tears. In my life i hope that everyone would just be as happy as there are and no worries. in reality living in this world it doesn't permit us to do so. It's just my hope. If one day things happen i wan every1 who knows me to be happy b'coz i can be free. I hope that the one i love the most will be able to accept it and forget about it fast. I would wan him to know that living without me it;s just da same. the world would not stop if things happen it'll just continue to turn around. but i had confidence it him.... he'll know what i wanted him to do. As for family, the 1 whom i'm closest with will also do the same. Life is just so weird. SOme think it's wonderful but not everyone things so. But i think it is wonderful because i'm lighten up by so many bright stars all around me. They are there to light up when i'm dark. Darkness is just so horrible u can't see where you are where you'll be heading. But when there's some brightness u'll just felt safer as u may at least know who u are, where are u for the minumum. These stars are priceless and nothing can compare with them. They are just so wonderful till u think are you worth for owning so many stars. i may just wonder why i'm so lucky to find them. At times i wonder i won't be able to repay them in life. I'll just have to owe them till th end of time.

I also finally realise how would you be if you really care about this person. When u are just thinking of  ending things he'll just be the only one that can change your mind. When u think of him u won't be able to go on with what u had been thinking because u won't bear to leave him in sorrow alone. But at the same time you knw that u'll be selfsih for keeping this type of thinking in u. At that time u just hope u can really hug him. the thouch of him just makes the sorrows or darkness of urs disappear. U'll just feel that u are sp lucky. Words would be hard to express these kind of feelings but only u knows how it felt. Just thank u for just by being there, you would think so. He had make u change ur mind....